I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
