D3 body, D1 cock
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
