i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
