Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The Olympian is in my bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
