"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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