You made me cry and you don't even care
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
