and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize