Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
