You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
