The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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