P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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