is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
