My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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