I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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