Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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