i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
