i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
