i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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