I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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