Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
