You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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