What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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