Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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