nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
no you cant smoke seaweed
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You are a genius and a whore.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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