did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
