I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Where is the hickey?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
