we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
