It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Drunk is not a location!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
