so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize