ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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