talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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