Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7
  Replies (40) Good night (2276) Bad night (3228)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time. http://tfl.nu/w76y
  Replies (51) Good night (1725) Bad night (5030)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf
  Replies (74) Good night (17941) Bad night (1680)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): He's on drugs...like drugs for horses. http://tfl.nu/witw
  Replies (41) Good night (1228) Bad night (2977)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything." http://tfl.nu/1ue8
  Replies (35) Good night (17531) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts

  (1-631): View more from New York

  Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts (1-631): Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships? http://tfl.nu/5hoq
  Replies (19) Good night (2278) Bad night (1521)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers. http://tfl.nu/h63v
  Replies (17) Good night (1153) Bad night (2531)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody. http://tfl.nu/us3z
  Replies (5) Good night (756) Bad night (1054)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it http://tfl.nu/zmnm
  Replies (3) Good night (1338) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night. http://tfl.nu/dy0t
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons. http://tfl.nu/zvq7
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  How do we stop her downward spiral?

  (1-510): View more from California

  Wine. For us.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): How do we stop her downward spiral? (1-510): Wine. For us. http://tfl.nu/x3co
  Replies (6) Good night (690) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum http://tfl.nu/sqi2
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view. http://tfl.nu/ibh3
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis? http://tfl.nu/sjic
  Replies (2) Good night (430) Bad night (240)

Randomize