sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking