Texts From Last Night

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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window

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  (602): Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window http://tfl.nu/pu84
  Replies (23) Good night (643) Bad night (2316)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

  (817): View more from Texas

  told ya

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  (214): apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back...... (817): told ya http://tfl.nu/csea
  Replies (13) Good night (2651) Bad night (684)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.

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  (902): Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza. http://tfl.nu/scf8
  Replies (10) Good night (5749) Bad night (1155)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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  (337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj
  Replies (39) Good night (7445) Bad night (1138)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...

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  (+44): The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad... http://tfl.nu/0y4t
  Replies (5) Good night (787) Bad night (2086)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included

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  (515): You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included http://tfl.nu/xxv8
  Replies (4) Good night (4223) Bad night (718)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever

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  (508): holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever http://tfl.nu/v6ie
  Replies (12) Good night (1418) Bad night (466)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.

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  (252): i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no. http://tfl.nu/99ae
  Replies (8) Good night (1811) Bad night (602)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.

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  (678): i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me. http://tfl.nu/f868
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (580)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.

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  (304): Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low. http://tfl.nu/whd6
  Replies (6) Good night (816) Bad night (680)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now

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  (704): I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now http://tfl.nu/20zt
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (640)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.

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  (303): Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way. http://tfl.nu/uitb
  Replies (7) Good night (555) Bad night (874)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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  (954): Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie. http://tfl.nu/d57l
  Replies (8) Good night (373) Bad night (1451)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.

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  (407): Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class. http://tfl.nu/mt7c
  Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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  (615): my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything. http://tfl.nu/13l7
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (164)

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