Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.

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(845): View more from New York

I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.

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(813): View more from Florida

So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks

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(209): View more from California

Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?

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(903): View more from Texas

I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.

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(+61): View more from Australia

im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter

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(315): View more from New York

I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...

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