Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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