Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
