we're blogging at a bar
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
