How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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