oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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