I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
