His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
