I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
