Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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