porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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