She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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