Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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