I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
its liver damage thursday
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