why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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