I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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