Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dicks are not precious.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
