4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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