I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
