I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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