i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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