based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
