so explain again why im purple
no
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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