Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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