I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i think i have two assholes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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