dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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