And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am one with the molecules
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
