she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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