It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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